Thingamadoobers and Whatnot...

The obsession continues....isn't he pretty?

2012-01-26T23:34:00.003-06:00

Remember this guy? Well, as of this past summer, he's still at the zoo...and I'm still obsessed when I see him. I just haven't come across another creature that mezmerizes me as much as this beautiful guy does! I coulda stared at him for hours....except that the other people with me probably would have protested to that....like there's more to the zoo than just the leopard...pffffft.;0)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2012-01-03T23:01:00.004-06:00

Ok, so I'm a couple days late, but at least it's still January!:D Wishing everyone a very happy 2012 filled with all kinds of joy and blessings and such!

My resolution this year is to make time for and appreciate more those who continue to love me in spite of myself and to love and accept others the same way. I find that it's all too easy with human nature to pick people apart and get caught up in petty differences, and I've been increasingly grateful for those who love me for who I am and in spite of what I look like, what I wear, my hair color, shoe size, personality, what I like to do or not do, my failures, whether or not I pluck my eyebrows or paint my toenails, my job, my hobbies, my background, whether or not I'm "hip," my weight, my height, my annoying habits, my opinions, my decisions, my love for purses and shoes, my lack of painting skills, my toothpaste brand, my car, my faith, my family, my cravings for Swedish Fish and chocolate, my political views or lack thereof, how often I wash my hair, yadda yadda yadda, etc. I'm learning(I know...it took long enuf!) that the people in my life that really matter(and I want to keep in my life) are the ones who encourage me in positive ways and really do love me for who I am and not anything else. I don't have to pretend to be anybody I'm not and can just be me...I always want to be the best person I can be, but am thankful that when I mess up, they love me anyway.;0) I'm grateful to be married to one such person, and to have more than one person of this nature in my life. I want to be the same toward them...and to teach my children to be the kind of people who love, accept and respect others in the same.

So there you have it...my New Year's resolution in a very long, drawn-out nutshell. I apologize for putting you through that. Next time I'll try for funny...maybe....;0)

For the Love of Dogs...or some such thing.

2011-11-03T23:00:00.004-05:00

Some of you may know we were "gifted" a puppy a few months ago by my mom(and I guess Dad, too)...yay us! I'm learning I'm not a huge "own-my-own-dog-pick-poop-up-in-the-yard-take-it-outside-while-she-putzes-around-for-6-years-in-the-cold/rain/snow/sleet/hail" fan, but the kids love her so we're managing to get along as best we can. Sometimes she's even cute. I am her favorite person...yay me. I like cats, always have and probably always will, but hubby is allergic so we can't have one....I sometimes like dogs, but usually much better when they belong to someone else. Anyway, her name is Gypsy, and she's a brown and white dapple miniature dachshund. Moral of the story is we are trying to teach her some obedience things...aside from not peeing on the carpet(GRRRRRRRR)...and one of them is a "sit...wait for it...ok, u can have your treat" sort of thing. Apparently it's something they teach in puppy class that a dog should stay sitting until you tell it otherwise...I don't know, I've never been to puppy class. Apparently my parents didn't think I needed it. However, tonight as the dog was waiting anxiously for her treat, I waited a few extra seconds before giving the "ok," so when she went for it she managed to somersault herself off the landing of the dining room and into the living room at my inlaws. It was hilarious!* She keeps making me laugh like that, and I just might keep her around!;0)

*For those of you wondering, the landing is one step...it's not an 8ft drop or anything remotely hazardous. I may not be a huge fan of having a pet to take care of on top of everything else in life, but I don't believe in shoving the dog off the roof...just so you know.;0) We also have no intention of getting rid of the dog...unless anyone is interested...? Just kidding...my little boy's heart would be broken...so I guess the dog stays.

Toddlish is a foreign language....

2011-07-14T23:13:00.010-05:00

Driving home from a play-date today, this conversation ensued with one of my toddlers.

Toddler: "Mom, afishessuttingsing?"

Me: "What, honey?"

Toddler: "A fishessutting sing..."

Me: "The what thing?"

Toddler: "Da fish sutting sing."

Me: "Are we going to Red Lobster for supper?"

Toddler: "NO! Da fishes sutting sing!"

Me: "Ummm...the fish did what?"

Toddler, getting annoyed with my incompetence: "Da sutting sing...da fishes sutting sing!"

Me: "What thing? What did the fish do?"

Toddler: "Da fish. It was sutting sonsing in a water."

Me, lightbulb: "OHHHHHH...there was a fish in the water? Was it sucking the algae off the tank?"

Toddler: "YES! Wis a sutting sing!"

Me: Breaking out in hysterical laughter.

That was a lot of work....I think I need a toddler thought translator...he was SOOOO not amused with how slow I was to figure out what important message he was trying to convey. Moral of the story: the place where we had a play-date had fish...and apparently there was one that had a "sucking thing" to suck algae off the tank. We went to Red Lobster for supper because we had a gift card* and we had just discussed that, in case anyone was wondering where that came from.;0)

*We don't normally eat there since we're not huge fans of seafood, but they do have a delicious chicken linguini dish. Not to mention, their biscuits are AWESOME! I'm not a bread fan, either, so that's saying a lot...ok, I'm done now.:D

This is so me....:D

2011-05-02T18:05:00.003-05:00

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy

And to think she did children's shows...GASP...maybe that's what's wrong with me...too much Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy exposure. Yup, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.:D

In Loving Memory....

2011-04-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

I don't usually post serious things on my blog...but tonight I feel like I need to post these memories so I have them to look back on. And because right now, I'm just thankful I have them. My grandmother(Grandma K) passed away earlier today after being in the hospital for several days and not doing well. I went to see her on Monday and spent a few hours alone with her. I'm thankful I had that time...I know I haven't always been the perfect granddaughter and didn't see her as much I would have liked to or even should have, but I'm thankful that when I left her bedside that day, knowing it was probably the last time I would ever see her in this life, I heard the words "I love you." I wouldn't trade that moment for anything. I have many fond memories of long heart-to-heart visits with her about anything and everything under the sun. We were two peas in a pod in a lot of the things we had opinions on or thought were amusing/interesting, etc. She was an awesome lady...one of the strongest women I've ever known and I would do well to aspire to be like her in a lot of ways. She was the pillar in our family, kind-hearted, always willing to do for others, never meddled in anyone's business, could withstand any test ever thrown her way and was adorable right down to her "yeah, yeah and so..." Even thinking of her saying that brings a smile...and of course, more tears. Anyway, I'm thankful to have been her grandchild...she will be greatly missed. Thank-you, Grandma, for the memories. <3

I love being blonde....

2011-03-30T23:34:00.007-05:00

Ever heard of the expression "low-ball?" As in some people tend to "low-ball" an estimate or some such thing. Well, in the world of blonde, I got to use that expression today. Only it didn't come out how it was supposed to. Conversation went something like this with my new hairdresser:

Her: "I always show people about how much I think they're wanting cut off before I cut it."

Me: "Yeah, that's a good idea...I usually under-ball it a little, that way if it ends up being a little more, it's not a big deal."

Then I proceeded to almost have a coronary trying to keep myself from laughing....apparently, she didn't catch it, or she mighta just thought I was a little odd. Either way, it still makes me laugh out loud, so thought I should have that on record for future reference.:D

Change is Good...

2011-01-27T23:04:00.004-06:00

There's something inspiring and delightful about the prospect of positive change.:0)

That's all I have but thought I would share...not funny, I know, but a good thought, yes? Perhaps more intriguing than the image of me using my knife as a mock cell phone at a restaurant a couple weeks ago. That was pretty funny, tho...more of a "you had to be there" kind of moment....I'll try for funny next time.;0) Until then...embrace the positive change, people...it's quite liberating!:D

Curly Girl Designs

2011-01-07T14:32:00.003-06:00

Check out this awesome blog by Curly Girl Designs http://curlygirldesign.com/blog/ and the giveaway they have going on right now! Curly Girl has LOTS of really cool items(magnets, mugs, wall hangings, note pads, candles, etc) with unique sayings and illustrations meant to inspire. I love to purchase their stuff as gifts for others as well as for myself. Enjoy!:0)

This is awesome....

2010-12-12T22:25:00.004-06:00

Found this quote and it made me laugh out loud...:D

"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about 3 inches away." Tom Lehrer

Because it's late...and I'm easily amused...:D

2010-12-01T22:59:00.003-06:00

In light of my new painting blog/fb page, I thought this would be an appropriate business strategy....now to just find the right street corner to stand on....:D

Just for fun...

2010-11-27T19:44:00.003-06:00

I came across an old sticky note I've been hanging on to since who-knows-when....and on it were some sayings(mixed up versions of familiar cliches) from who-knows-where....and they made me laugh, so I'm going to share them with who-knows-who...ok, ok...I'll stop now.;0)

*"Money doesn't grow on chickens before they hatch."

*"The early bird gets a job worth doing."

*"Two wrongs don't make a penny earned."

*"And you thought everything you said went in one ear and walked a mile in their shoes!"

For the Love of Random....

2010-11-02T11:40:00.004-05:00

Blogging....wow....yeah....I'm not very good at it. I keep thinking of all these funny things I should try and remember to post later and.....VOILA! They're gone by the time I blink. Literally. Maybe if I stop blinking.....?

It's kind of like heading into some other room of the house with something specific in mind that you need/want to do/put away/clean/destroy and about 2 steps in that direction, something else equally as mundane and unimportant pops up and distracts you from your original task. By the time you finally remember you were going to reset the clock on the microwave....you've filed bills, cleaned the toilet, clipped your fingernails, alphabetized the bookshelf, had a glass of milk, bathed the dog and ate half a bag of licorice. Or at least that's how my mind works(doesn't work?) Except I rarely can remember back to whatever the original task was. Too much blinking....I'm pretty sure.

My other blog....cuz I do so well keeping up with this one.;0)

2010-10-25T22:55:00.003-05:00

Hey Y'all!

For anyone interested, I have started another blog(I know, I know...I never post on this one, so what's the point?) Well, the other blog is for my artwork....mainly paintings.....kind of just beginning at the moment but on a roll so hoping to get some more items posted soon. So....as I was saying....for anyone interested, that blog address is http://forthesakeofpaint.blogspot.com . Thank-you....that is all.;0)

Live Dangerously

2010-08-31T09:47:00.002-05:00

I decided it would be really cool to get a dog....and name him Scissors. And then go running with aforementioned dog.... Wouldn't that be awesome?? C'mon, humor me...I'm cracking up here!:D

Think outside the box....

2010-08-23T23:04:00.001-05:00

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." Terry Pratchett

This made me chuckle....;0)

Happy Holidays!:D

2010-07-26T18:04:00.003-05:00

"I'm glad life isn't like a Christmas song, because if my friends and I were building a snowman and it suddenly came alive when we put a hat on it, I'd probably freak and stab it to death with an icicle." Matthew Perry

This literally made me laugh out loud....and then I read it again and laughed some more. Poor Frosty.;0)

Awesomeness

2010-07-24T06:00:00.001-05:00

"I know the answer! The answer lies in the heart of all mankind. The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." Charles M. Schulz

2010-07-23T14:15:00.002-05:00

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the minute you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." Robert Frost

Apparently this entire house is my office....;0)

You can have your words and eat them, too....

2010-07-19T08:37:00.004-05:00

Freedom of Speech. First Ammendment(well, part of it.) Brace yourselves, this could get wordy.;0) Let me just start by saying that along with the privilege of the freedom of speech, there also comes an immediate responsibility for the words spoken, by the person who has spoken them. You with me so far? Ok...so, here's my issue...well, one of them...yes, I know, I have issues, but seriously, we're not getting into that today. Well, not all of them. Anyway, while I believe we're all entitled to our opinion on a matter and entitled to state our opinion on that matter....I also believe that Freedom of Speech also gives us a right and responsibility(and maybe a tad bit of common sense would help) to keep that aforementioned opinion to ourselves when necessary. Just because a thought pops up in our minds, does not mean we are forced to state it out loud...no matter how much it might beg to be set free into the world of un-censored viewpoints. I believe that the opinions we state out loud have a direct reflection on our character....as do those we so wisely keep to ourselves. Now, I might add here that I have been guilty of stating an opinion(or several) out loud without taking into consideration the consequences(ie: how it affects others or that i may have to eat those words later...and for the record, I do not enjoy eating words)....and that usually happens when my mouth is working faster than my brain. Yes, folks, there is a brain in there...small and un-wrinkled as it may be, it does exist.(That's just my opinion, of course, so feel free to contradict...just not out loud, lest you offend my tender sensibilities.);0) Anyway, moral of the story? It's a goal of mine to do more thinking before speaking. I'm learning that opinions or even just mere statements I may not think COULD affect people(because maybe the issue has never come up before, they won't ever hear/see it, etc...) CAN affect people....so, although entitled to my own opinions, learning to keep things to myself on certain subjects when that would be the better route, is a good thing. YAY FOR ENLIGHTENMENT!:D

*Ok, so it's not so ammendment-y....but you get the general idea....and for the record, the above is just my opinion, one I felt free to share....I weighed it carefully, so hopefully it won't have any adverse effects.;0)

**NOTE: The word "opinion" could also be replaced with "assumption," "assessment," "judgement," "sentiment" or other such synonyms....;0)

And...

2010-06-17T22:47:00.006-05:00

"Be yourself...be your best self, but always be yourself." This was advice given to me several years ago by someone much older and wiser than myself. I'm thankful it has come to mind again recently. If you're reading this...well, I don't usually post things like this because this blog was meant to be funny. But I'm typing this out so I can come back again when I need to be reminded. Seems like so often it's in our nature(or at least strongly in my nature) to change what/who we are to please other people or to try to "fit in" with what others do, think or say....and if you're like me, you'll find that to be a very miserable position to be in. And I don't really enjoy being miserable. I am thankful that when I was given this advice, they specified to "be your BEST self..." I know there are things in my nature that aren't my best...and those are the things I want to change so I can truly be my best self. Me. Not someone else. I'm thankful for the people who love and know the real me, and I hope that by striving to be my best self I can inspire others to also be their best self...sounds a little corny, I know, but there is that side of me.;0) That's all...next time I'll aim for funny.;0)

*Disclaimer: This was not brought on my any certain experience or anything else, so if you're analyzing it, you can stop....I was simply reflecting(and reading thru some old notes I've kept) and realizing that I'm much happier when I'm not worrying about what anyone else is thinking of me(or what I think they're thinking of me.) Carry on....;0)

Memorable

2010-06-17T22:16:00.003-05:00

"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending alot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on." Beryl Pfizer

How true is that??;0)

Pet-Peeves

2010-06-02T13:29:00.004-05:00

I'm going to get a dog and name it Peeve. Then I'm going to get a fish and name it Peeve as well. I will then have a big pet Peeve and a little pet Peeve and my life will be complete. Or....perhaps I should get a pair of rabbits and name them Peeve...then I could have a never-ending supply of little pet Peeves....I could be on to something here....or just plain on something...not sure which. Too many paint fumes I suppose. But the dining room sure is looking nice!;0)

Workin' Hard or Hardly Workin'

2010-05-07T23:40:00.003-05:00

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." ~Jerome K. Jerome

Kickin' Spider Tail

2010-04-04T22:33:00.007-05:00

Ha...how's that for a title? I'm pretty sure spiders don't have tails, but I'm not gonna get close enough to find out. Eeeeesh. I hate spiders....and they always come out to torment me by showing up after everyone else(aka, my husband....protector....arachnid warrior) has gone to bed. Take tonight for example.....the rest of the family is off in dream land and what do I see making it's sneaky little evil way across my ceiling? The eight-legged demon of utter creepiness. I watched him for awhile before grabbing the nearest shoe(my son's), climbing up on the couch and hoisting myself at just the right angle to get the little bugger.(Haha....pun intended);0) SMACK! Got him on the first shot.:D That, my friends, definitely deserves some kind of reward or medal or something, especially considering my immense fear of spiders, the height of the ceiling, the size of the shoe and my inability on a normal day to do something like that and get it on the first try.;0) It's time to get out the bug spray.....I do not like doing this on a regular basis. Or ever. And as far as the whole "kings palaces" thing.....I am not a king.....will never be a king(nor will anyone else in the family)....and I do not live in a palace. Obviously, the spiders here missed that memo....maybe next time they'll take a few minutes to check their email before making the treck into my chamber of death.;0)

No joke....

2010-03-28T22:19:00.004-05:00

I was driving with my grandmother in the car the other evening and we decided to stop at Dairy Queen for a treat. For those of you unfamiliar with Dairy Queen, it is an ice cream shop that sells ice cream treats of all kinds. We pull up in the drive thru and as usual, the lady comes on and says "Hi, thanks for stopping at Dairy Queen, I can take your order as soon as you're ready." I don't even have to make this stuff up....after browsing the entire menu in search of something for the kids, as serious as can be, I respond "Hi, yeah, do you have anything here besides ice cream?" Long pause. "Um, no we don't." I'm pretty sure this is the part where they were amazed by my intelligence.;0)
We were laughing when we got to the window to pay(the girl looking at me like I was an idiot made it even more funny) and we laughed all the way home....and again the next day. In my defense, I was thinking of something like a cookie the kids could eat in the back seat unsupervised, and that I wouldn't have to scrub out of their clothes, carseat and the car upholstery. Good times, people, good times.;0) I'm so glad I have blonde hair to blame this stuff on!:D

Sleep Disorder

2010-03-05T10:56:00.002-06:00

In light of recent developments, it has been brought to my attention that there is a need for me to go to bed before 1 a.m. This morning, while dreaming, I pulled my watch off the night stand and proceeded to send text messages on it. Oh yes, I was just hammering away on those invisible buttons with whatever message was so important it couldn't wait til I was coherent(if that ever even happens.);0) Upon falling back into a deep sleep and waking awhile later, I found my watch still in hand, ready to receive and deliver the next important message. It was then that I knew I needed to start going to bed earlier. That being said, I will more than likely remain a night owl and next time I'll be emailing on my alarm clock....anything's possible.;0)

In my defense, the apple does not fall far from the tree....

2010-03-04T13:00:00.003-06:00

Here's living proof I come by my astounding amount of intelligence honestly. I called my dad on his cell phone today to wish him a happy birthday, knowing he was at work but thinking he might be getting ready to head to lunch. Know what he was doing when he answered? Standing at the top of a ladder trimming a tree. Yup, and he answered his phone. While on the ladder. Holding whatever he was trimming the tree with. See where I'm going with this?? Yeah, it's hereditary.;0)

*My parents don't have a computer so he'll probably never see this...not that I care, because he was just as amused as I was. That's one thing I love about my dad....we share the same sense of humor. We still love to laugh our heads off at something really really stupid, waiting in anticipation for the eye-roll(and remarks to go along with it) mom will be sending our way.;0)

THIS IS A TEST FROM THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM

2010-03-04T00:16:00.003-06:00

Hmmm, well, I don't have the annoying ringing noise and fuzzy screen to go with for those of you who grew up(as I did) with a TV in your house, but I do have an important announcement! The sole purpose of this blog when I started it was to record things that amused me so I could look back when I needed a laugh...and laugh. Well, folks, as I'm sitting here reading past posts and laughing my easily-amused little blonde head off....I realized my blog is serving it's purpose! YAY!:D Ok, so maybe it's not that exciting....fine....back to the annoying ring and fuzzy screen....;0)

Optimism

2010-03-02T08:00:00.001-06:00

"The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour." Author Unknown

*This Author Unkown guy really knows his stuff....;0)

I amuse myself, if noone else....:D

2010-02-28T23:40:00.003-06:00

On our way home this evening I was quoting the beginning line of the Gettysburg Address, "Four-score and seven years ago...." My husband, being the history nut and walking encyclopedia that he is, proceeded from there. So, in all my sarcasm and wit, I said, "Oh, so right away you think you're Abraham Lincoln..."

Him, looking at me like I have no idea what I'm talking about: "Hmph"

Me, somewhat confused now and laughing: "Or was it Martin Luther King?"

Him, laughing..."Sometimes you should probably just quit while you're ahead and not say things out loud."(Like somehow admitting I'm blonde is going to make me look dumb or someth-...oh wait...nevermind....)

Me, laughing: "Well, Smarty, who was it then?"

Him: "Abraham Lincoln."

Me, laughing hysterically now: "Ok, then! I had it right the first time...don't look at me like I don't know!"

He proceeded to roll his eyes....I'm pretty sure that was to just make me think he wasn't impressed with my impeccable knowledge of history.;0) Good to know my blondeness is good for something...even if it is just to make myself laugh....and laugh....and laugh....:D

Thanks...and so forth;0)

2010-02-28T23:33:00.003-06:00

A huge THANKS to AMOS for the gift I won on her Pay-It-Forward Gift giveaway....you're just too sweet!;0) Love the socks and the candy and the adorable monkey towel.:D Thanks a heap...you're the bestest!;0)

*Yes, I had already won a gift on another giveaway...but she sent me one anyway, just because.:0) If it weren't so late and I wasn't feeling so lazy, I'd take a pic and post it....;0)

Quote of the Weekend

2010-02-22T11:28:00.002-06:00

"I don't like going in reverse....it feels altogether too much like I'm going backward, ya know?" ~Yours Truly;0)

*Let's just say I laughed and laughed and laughed after I said it....ok, so I was a bit overtired...but it was funny...even my husband laughed at my awesomeness....might have been my stupidity, but I prefer to think it was my awesomeness....;0)

Laugh of My Day

2010-02-18T17:06:00.002-06:00

Saw this quote, and in spite of it being a somewhat not-all-that-fun-or-exciting kinda day, it made me laugh out loud.;0)

"I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'" Bruce Baum

:D

Pay It Forward THANKS!

2010-02-17T10:18:00.002-06:00

A HUGE thank-you to Heather_S for my Pay-It-Forward gift! A KOHL'S gift card! Thanks so much....I can't wait to go shopping!;0)

Smileys and Whatnot:0)

2010-02-03T23:18:00.003-06:00

I just realized(well, maybe I realized it before now....) that I use smileys ALOT when I type. Whether it's in an email, live chat, a blog post, a hand-written letter.....I use them everwhere....probably excessively so. Probably ANNOYINGLY so....however, I also realized that's my way of portraying the smile on my face(or other dumb facial expression...I have lots and rarely are they hidden) when I write.....sort of an "expressive writing" technique for when words need to be accessorized. Kinda like a belt or a scarf for just plain words. Know what I mean?;0) <---oh look, there's one! I also realized in my moment of enlightenment that it's probably not such a good idea to ever use them in college term papers. Somehow I think it would be frowned:0( upon by a professor.:D SO, I'll keep it in mind for then only....for the rest of the time, if I ever STOP using them....those who know me well should be concerned....very concerned.;0)

P.S. I also noticed that I ramble on and on about nothing sometimes.....and that's ok, too, because tomorrow I won't even remember what I wrote.;0)

AND THIS WEEK'S PAY IT FORWARD WINNERS ARE:

2010-01-29T10:47:00.003-06:00

AMBER

and

AMOS

Thanks to both of you for playing along in my little gift-giving excitement. I will be mailing your gifts out either tomorrow or Monday. Have a great weekend!:0)

This is so me....

2010-01-28T16:01:00.004-06:00

"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on." Robert Byrne

Need I say more?;0)

Also coming to my mind today is the subject of "sherbet." Mainly because I was eating some, but I have come across this question in my feeble mind at other times as well. In my ever so adventurous lifetime I have seen the delicious frozen orange or berry(or both...Edy's Berry Rainbow Sherbet is the BOMB) treat referred to as "sherbet" or "sorbet." I have no idea which is which or if they're both the same. However, I do know that in the town I grew up in(we'll call it Hickville for the sake of anonymity) or maybe just the family I grew up in(either way, the culture of my family life could directly be linked to the town in which we lived) we called it "SHERBERT." Yup, with a second "r." Many years went by before I realized there really is no second "r" in "sherbet." So, now, because I am too lazy to google the correct pronunciation of whatever the word actually is....I just hold up the container and say "anybody want some of this?":D

Pay It Forward Gift Thingy

2010-01-24T23:40:00.009-06:00

Ok, so here's the thing...I won a gift on Heather S's blog so now it's my turn to have a giveaway for 2 lucky winners. I am breaking the rules just a little(cuz Heather said I could) and posting before I've actually received my gift, but I'm excited...who doesn't love to receive random gifts in the mail for no reason? So...here goes.:0) See below for details.

The Rules(if you win):

1. You must be willing to give me your mailing address so I can send your gift.

2. You'll have to post your own Pay It Forward giveaway after you receive your gift.(This is the part where I'm breaking the rules...in case you didn't catch that above....);0) Along with your post you can tell about your gift as well as link back to my blog, if you so choose.

3. Play along....send your 2 lucky winners their gift. Doesn't have to be anything big or expensive...maybe a favorite of yours or whatever that would make the ordinary day a little less ordinary....I'd tell you my idea, but that would spoil the fun.:D

So, y'all have til 10am Fri, Jan. 29th to enter(by leaving a comment on this post)....if you want.;0) I will be picking the winners(as in randomly drawing them from a hat or some such thing) sometime that day and will post them sometime that day as well...how's that for specific? Good luck!:D

Procrastinators Anonymous

2010-01-22T00:00:00.004-06:00

Anyone else out there a procrastinator? No? You mean I'm all alone in the 12-step program? Guess I'll put off starting it til tomorrow then.:D

"Advancements in technology have provided us the wonderful freedom to procrastinate faster than ever before." R. Smith, Complete Idiot's Guide to E-Commerce

And here I am on my computer quickly procrastinating on going to bed because I'm exhausted....how awesome is that? I think I deserve a medal or something....I mean, how many people do you know that put off sleep to hurry up and write a useless blog post that makes absolutely no sense? Psshh, I don't even know what "E-Commerce" is! My point exactly...thank-you, thank-you(bowing to the applause)....wha? A tomato? Are you kidding me? Ok, fine....from now on, I'll take my awesomeness somewhere else....and I'll get my gold medal....you just wait!

*I apologize in advance...the brain cells were at it again. One of these days I'm gonna get hauled off merely on the principle that people who talk to and answer themselves are usually deemed crazy. That being said....whatever principles are, I hope they're not sharp....:D

Ya gotta love it.....

2010-01-13T22:49:00.003-06:00

"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.":D

HAPPY NEW YEAR...in a couple days....:D

2009-12-30T23:28:00.003-06:00

Here's a post to all my fabulous readers and devoted following....ok, feel free to gag....hang on...had to wipe my mouth. Ok, so really, just want to wish any of the poor souls who feel obligated to read my pathetic excuse of a blog a very HAPPY NEW YEAR filled with all kinds of warm fuzzies, family, friends(they can be fuzzy, too...we're not partial here...,) happiness, joys, good food, stress-free days, mosquito-free summer nights, sunshine and root beer. If you don't like root beer, I'll have your share.;0) Basically, whatever makes your new year happy, healthy and all that you wish for....I wish that for you.:0) Ain't I nice? I know....all my friends think I'm.....wait, let me start over....if I had friends, they would think I'm nice.:D (Just kidding, peeps, I know you love me in spite of my awkward attempts at fitting into society....and I love you right back! Ok, ok, I'll go back to my cave in a few min....this is where patience comes in, remember? Fine, I'm going....)

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!:D (I know, I'm early, but I'll probably forget to post if I don't do it now and besides, I like to be early....I feel punctual then. And like I'm not gonna be late....know what I mean?:D)

Serious post...just because I can....;0)

2009-12-29T17:59:00.002-06:00

I heard this quote the other day, and even though it's not funny....I decided to post in on here anyway. Just in case there's anybody else out there with a scar or twelve that might like it as much as I do.

"Scars remind us of where we've been....but they don't have to dictate where we're going."

That's all I have....tune in next decade for another update....I've been getting reminded *ahem* that I don't update enough, so will try to do better....if I can. I might have to make this about more than just hilarity, tho, as some funny things just aren't for all to read...and sometimes there's just something like the quote above that I'd like to remember....we'll see.;0) Have a fantabulistically awesome day!:0)

"Muffin Top, You'll Always Be Home Sweet Home To Me...."

2009-12-01T22:08:00.005-06:00

Can you guess what this post is about? Here's a clue....it has NOTHING to do with Tennessee. We've all seen it, people wandering about the mall....or better yet, Wal-Mart, with pants on 3 sizes too small and a shirt 4 inches too short. That, my friends, creates the lovely essence known as Muffin-top. You can call it Biscuit-middle if you prefer. It's a pet-peeve of mine. Because honestly, I believe a person can look attractive and well-dressed at ANY shape or size, IF THEIR CLOTHES FIT. Yes, that means buying the correct size and style to flatter one's body shape. Muffin-top is not flattering in the least. On anyone. Of any color. Or size. Or shape. Or gender. Or political party. I don't even care if you smell pretty....Muffin-top is not the way to go. So please, tell your friends, neighbors, children.....better yet, get up and shout it from your rooftop(please be careful...and note that I hold no legal accountability should a person endanger themselves by actually following my advice,)"SAY NO TO MUFFIN-TOP!" :D

DRUMROLL.........

2009-12-01T21:48:00.003-06:00

Consider this blog updated. Thank-you....you may exit the building from the back on the far right....have a lovely day!:D

Spotted decor...

2009-11-09T11:52:00.004-06:00

I was admiring this pic again and thinking "wouldn't he make a beautiful rug?" And then all the animal-rights activist voices in my head said that probably wouldn't be a good thing, so I decided to just keep him as my desktop backround.:D

p.s. for those of you wondering, yes, i did post this pic before....however, i'm still mezmerized and obsessed with this animal, so bear with me...;0)

Larry's Proverbs...

2009-10-22T14:34:00.002-05:00

Larry's Proverbs

1.A day without sunshine is like night.
2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

*These were compliments of an email sent by a friend of mine....Larry being Larry the Cable Guy. Who doesn't love a funny redneck in sleevless shirts?;0)

Flickering Bulb

2009-10-12T00:53:00.008-05:00

In light of my previous post...we now have a guinea pig. She's not a cat, but she'll do. She is soft and I can hold her and pet her. There are stipulations required for every animal brought into our home. A pet is not a pet unless you can pet it, in my ever so humble opinion.;0) Anyway, moral of the story.....brought her home....her name is Stitch. As in Lilo and Stitch....as in alienfromanotherplanetrunarounddestroyingthings Stitch. However, contrary to her name, she is actually very very calm...so calm that she peed on my shirt while I was holding her and petting her. Guinea pig pee smells very strange, just for the record. Anyway, this story does have a point....a point that kept me laughing my head off for a whole evening. I was setting up said guinea pig's cage....food dish, hay, blanket...etc....and came to the new highly evolved water bottle. For some of you who are not blonde by nature(I am blonde, literally and figuratively, therefore I can rip on blondeness,) this may not have sounded like such a high-tech chore. However, in my ultimate state of blondeness, I was attempting to attach the water bottle to the inside of the cage with the wire holder that was included.....it wasn't working. I couldn't get the wire to hold the bottle tight, AT ALL. So, I looked at the package....nothing specific in the directions....hmmm....maybe they forgot a piece of it that's supposed to prop the water bottle up? Cuz there's no way the wire holder is going to work....and the dumb thing SAID it was supposed to fit on all wire cages....grrrr. So, being the brilliant inventor that I am....I found a rubber band to put around the water bottle to give the wire something to "grab on" to, thus preventing the water bottle from slipping out of the wire. All's well in guinea pig land. Until we're on our way somewhere for the evening and it hits me. Seriously....I bet all the street lights flickered at the exact moment that it dawned on me the water bottle is supposed to be propped OUTSIDE the cage....see the first pic above for confirmation. I laughed and laughed and laughed....and laughed some more on the way home. 'Tis good to be blonde.;0)

Animals are Therapeutic

2009-09-28T20:26:00.002-05:00

If I live to be old and go to the nursing home, I'm getting a cat. By then my husband will be too old and senile to remember he has allergies. That's all I have...good night.

Early Bird's Demise

2009-09-22T20:50:00.002-05:00

Once upon today I got up early....really early....like 5:30 early. That might not sound so early to some of you lovely people who have to go to work to keep corporate America up and running, but for those of me who have children that wake up several times a night screaming bloody murder, anything before 8 a.m. is too early to be rising and shining. So, I got up at 5:30, and I got to thinking about all the wonderful citizens out there who love the expression "the early bird gets the worm." Well, I personally am not into worms...and I say the early bird gets picked off by the owl that hasn't gone to roost yet. That, my friends, is reason enough for me to stay in bed. As much as I love owls, I am not interested in winding my way through their digestive tract to become a part of their fecal matter. Thanks, and have a lovely evening. I'm sleeping in tomorrow.

"This one goes out to the one I love....":D

2009-09-08T23:39:00.003-05:00

This is a special post....and yes I mean special. It's for Amber. Need I say more?:D We could totally rock the grippy shoes in this ep-i-tome! WOO HOO! (triangles are ringing in perfect harmony in the background...a sweet symphony....):D

p.s. you're welcome for the song....:D

Speaking of ostriches.....

2009-09-03T23:48:00.003-05:00

I think ostriches and possums have the best survival skills.....one sticking their head into the sand and the other playing "dead".....both ideas cleverly stunning their predators into "what the....dumb?" mode and thus causing them to forget why they were after them in the first place......highly sophisticated.....now I have to decide if I want to be a Postrich or an Ostrum....does it matter which one's the mom?:D

Roosterlicious....

2009-09-03T23:28:00.005-05:00

Ever wonder where some things originate and who the flake was that came up with them? Yeah...I had a moment like that this past weekend when we drove by an establishment advertising "great food and cocktails." No biggy, right? Uh huh...well, apparently my mind decided that cocktails needed to be analyzed...I mean, who came up with that? Some random person just decide out of the blue that "hey, i have a great idea....instead of just referring to mixed drinks, since that just sounds WAY too boring...let's call them cocktails!" Aka...rooster butts....or bums for the slangishly sensitive. For real? What kind of a dumb nut comes up with this stuff? So, I had a good laugh...and even my husband had a good laugh at my charismatically witty ingenuity. (And I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounded good.:D) He thought I should wikipediate it, but I prefer not to be disappointed....it may have nothing whatsoever to do with the backend of a rooster.....and that would take the wind right out of my water balloon.

p.s. I realize the picture shown is not a rooster...although if you pretend really hard, it could be....but ostriches are a littie higher on the fascinicter scale than chickens, so I have no rooster pictures....;0)

Alive & kicking & screaming.....

2009-09-02T23:17:00.003-05:00

Hey y'all....I know u missed me....ok, fine, maybe not...but I'm still here anyway, just for the record. Been a little busy around here....somehow my kids got the idea that I can survive on no sleep, so they've been testing that theory and making me a little non-functionable. Anyway, I don't have much....I was just sitting here eating a cucumber and was like "how cool is this? put a little tiny seed into the ground and it grows yummy delicious cucumbers!" Fascinating. I love cucumbers. That's all I have for tonight...everyone is sleeping so I'm off to bed!:0) Peace out, love muffins!;0) How's that for sweetness? I don't really have to try to be a dork...it just comes naturally....I'm pretty special that way...just ask my mom.:D

Survey of Truths(stolen from Amber)

2009-08-26T06:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, ppl, you are probably going to see a few of these on here cuz, well, I like to answer the questions....:D

Can you fill this out without lying? oh definitely....

What was the last thing you put in your mouth? coffee...with cream or skim milk, actually....

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew? not that i recall....but then my memory isn't worth much...

Where was your profile picture taken? well, the one on my blog was taking in my living room, and the one that shows up for my comments was taken in the dominican...i'm not smart enuf to know which one is my profile pic;0)

Can you play guitar hero? i already covered this in the previous survey, but for the sake of answering this question truthfully, i'm gonna go with no...

Name someone that made you laugh today? amber...i read her surveys:0)

How late did you stay up last night and why? 1am because I enjoy seeing how little sleep I can really do without....or it might have had something to do with my kids not staying asleep....

If you could move somewhere else, would you? oh no...not at all...i love the tiny little house we live in.....pfffft...ok, yes, i would move....to somewhere warm and sunny and live in a nice big house.

Ever been kissed under fireworks? huh, when we kiss we MAKE the fireworks....how's that for awesomeness?;0)

Which of your friends lives closest to you? i have no friends.....haha, j/k...i guess sarah would live the closest.....i think....not real good with mileage configurations.....

Do you believe ex's can be friends? yup

How do you feel about Dr Pepper? it's complicated....

When was the last time you cried really hard? last night watching some sad video about an abused little girl....i refuse to watch any more sad videos....i do NOT need that before i go to bed....or ever.......

Where are you right now? for real or my pretend world? ok, i'm in the living room.....on the computer....bet u didn't know that, did ya?

Who took your profile picture? i did

Who was the last person you took a picture of? hmmm....one of the kids....i don't remember cuz i already transferred them off the camera....

Was yesterday better than today? it was sunny yesterday, so that part was better.....but i believe in making the most of everday, so today is going to be the best day yet!(how's that for lame?;0))

Can you live a day without TV? i can live lots of days without tv....months really....even years....

Are you upset about anything? at the moment, no...but i have a headache so don't be messin' with me.....

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? the relationships i have are....cuz, well, i'm in them....haha....

Are you a bad influence? i like shopping.....:D

Night out or night in? definitely OUT! i spend every single day in......

What items could you not go without during the day? my glasses and water.....

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? hmmm....i can't remember....nobody recently i guess....

What does the last text message in your inbox say? wouldn't u like to know!

How do you feel about your life right now? i'm cool with it....

Do you hate anyone? no, dislike works fine for me....no need to go beyond that....

Unwilling to tolerate anyone? i tolerate some ppl, but some i would not if i had the opportunity to not tolerate them....;0)

If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? messages that i wanted to keep....the rest i delete...i don't like stuff cluttering up my inbox.....

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? maybe....are they testing for magnesium? then i might not......

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? um, very unlikely.....unless it was me in my ever so fun mock myself manner.....

What song is stuck in your head? the backyardigans theme song....highly annoying

Someone knocks on your window at 2am, who do you want it to be? my friends from far away for a surprise visit....are you reading this, amos??

Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? if my kids have kids before then, yes......otherwise, no....;0)

Name something you have to do tomorrow: sleep in...but we have an appt in the a.m. so no such luck

Do you think too much or too little? hahaha...hmmm...depends on the subject....sometimes i overthink and some times i don't think at all....;0)

Do you smile a lot? only on days that end in y, and an occasional weekend.

Random Survey for the Bored...

2009-08-25T06:00:00.001-05:00

Pick a word that starts with the first letter of your first name:
honkey:D

Without stating names, write something that you would say to four different people.
1. I love you
2. I Miss You
3. You smell like donkadoodle.....ok, I wouldn't really say that....innocuous, remember? It would be hilarious, tho....:D
4. Smile!

Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?
most definitely....several ppl in fact....i'm just one big bundle of care.....

How many times have you been to the ER for yourself?
I think only once.....for a broken arm.....

Is your profile private?
yes, it's an introvert

What's something that always gives you the chills?
cold air....that was a hard one

In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence?
what influence? caffeine?

How has this past week been for you?
barrels of squirrel niblets

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
depends....is it a close friend or just an aquaintance? these ppl need to be more specific.....

Do you do your own laundry?
actually, i married this really nice guy and usually he does the washing and drying....and i do the folding....which i hate so it piles up for a week or two before i get around to getting it done.....i know...no mother of the year award for me....;0)

What do people think about you that isn't true?
that i was dropped on my head when i was little and ate a regular diet of paint chips.....but my mom said i wasn't dropped.:D

How many months until your birthday?
every month is my birthday....cuz i like presents

What are you listening to?
the soothing sound of my computer getting ready for take-off....

Who's the first person in your contacts list?
somebody who's name starts with "a" cuz it's the first letter of the alphabet....and they're in alphabetical order....

Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
um.....hmmmm.....depends.....what was i not supposed to be doing?

Does it bother you when your friends bring up your past mistakes?
i don't make mistakes.......hahahahahahaha..........ha.........

Are you good at giving directions?
as long as you don't need actual direction(N, S, E, W) directions and are good with left, right and landmarks with an occasional street name thrown in....:D

What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
toast or pancakes.....

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
oh, this is tough....somebody help me out on this one.....SUMMER! i can live without the rest.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
um......no idea....i try not to cry much......it totally ruins the tough-girl rep i'm going for......

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
sure, and i would fit in, too because i'm in my sweats....

What's one thing you want more than anything in your life?
to do this survey.....;0)

What was on your mind mostly today?
i don't really think you want me to start listing stuff.....the wheel never stops....which brings me to a song....i'm so dizzy, my head is spinnin'....:D

Last person you gave something to?
gave my inner child an ice cream sandwich.....

Do you like winter time?
*sigh* no.....but thanks for reminding me that it will soon be here....mood wrecker.

What was the last movie you watched?
Ice Age 3....ya gotta love kid movies....

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
It takes more than just wanting something to get it....ya gotta go out there and fight for it! Aluminum baseball bats work wonders.......:D

Does the last person who put their arms around you mean anything to you?
Yup....I'm not really into letting random people put their arms around me.....

Do you like to cuddle?
With my husband and kids, yes....the rest of you are out of luck...sorry.

Are you ticklish?
nope....

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
i try not to eat insects.....

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
absolutely! anybody need saving? been a bad couple of hair years here......;0)

Can you play guitar hero?
we don't have that game so i'm gonna go with no

How many piercings do you have?
had ears pierced as a baby but the holes are all nicely healed now

Ever kissed in the rain?
a lady doesn't kiss and tell.....how's that for lame?;0)

How's your heart lately?
still beating....they tell me that's a good thing....

Are you a jealous person?
only if the handbag i want is spending more time on someone else's arm than it is on mine....

Any plans for tomorrow?
sleeping in....babysitting....and whatever else decides to happen then.....

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
nope...it would mess up my bad hair day look......

If your best friend liked your ex, what do you do?
my best friends are married.....so i think i don't need to worry on this one......;0)

Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?
with a little dynamite and some string, i'm sure i could be successful at blowing up and tying alot of things....:D

Do you bump into someone’s arm if you want to hold their hand?
how old are we? i just had a flashback to 3rd grade......

When is the last time you were in a photo-booth taking pictures with friend?
i think i was 16 or so.....that was a LONG time ago..........

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
well, my kids wouldn't be here if i hadn't......how's that for awesomeness?!;0)

When's your birthday?
didn't we already cover this?

What's the last thing you laughed at?
some of the previous questions.....:D

Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to?
whichever one doesn't tape my mouth shut with duct tape......don't pretend like you aren't tempted sometimes!;0)

Does the thought of marriage scare you?
um....well, here's the thing.....i'm married, so i'm gonna go with "no" on this one, too.....

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
I NEED SLEEP

What color are your eyes?
somewhere in the vicinity of mouse gray

Last missed call?
i don't remember....

Did you learn anything last night?
yeah, that sometimes it takes a long time to fall asleep when u have a gut ache...i'd share more but i'm pretty sure u don't want all the details....:D

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
i don't fight with my friends...that kind of defeats the purpose of friendship.....who comes up with this stuff?

If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be?
myself.....:D

Do you have a best friend to lean on?
most definitely....

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
feeding my baby and wishing for more sleep....

Last thing you bought from Walgreens?
um....a prescription?

Mirrored Image

2009-08-24T06:00:00.002-05:00

I think my mirror is bulemic. Or it has a really bad case of the stomach flu. Either way, the constant vomiting needs to stop. I think a nice big dose of hammercillin should do the trick....

*no, i am not having self-esteem issues....not today, anyway....it's just very late, and i'm easily amused.....:D

Innocuous Dwellment

2009-08-23T06:00:00.001-05:00

For some reason, the word "innocuous" came to mind last evening....not sure why.....but somehow in all my keenly intelligent methods of existing, I had forgotten the meaning. My mind apparently does not like clutter, so it throws out a good 90 percent of what it accumulates. Definitely not a pack rat. It's excellent at keeping the really important 8%....like where to find the best cappuccino or what kind of shoes someone at the mall was wearing. Highly necessary information. It is also easily distracted. So, innocuous...I looked it up and it means "producing no injury;harmless" or "not likely to give offense or to arouse strong feelings or hostility." Therefore, in honor of harmlessness and warm fuzzies, I have decided that I am going to strive to be an innocuous person.....and lay my 2x4 to rest on "autopilot.":D

p.s. If I were Merriam Webster....I would have chosen a different meaning for innocuous....it does not sound harmless. But she didn't ask me before coming up with the definition.....

The Monkey's Disgrace

2009-08-21T20:37:00.002-05:00

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are said to be
Said one to the others, “Now listen you two”
There’s a rumor going round that can’t be true
That man descended from our noble race
“Why the very idea is a great disgrace!”

No monkey has ever deserted his wife
Or starved her babies or ruined her life.
And you’ve never known a mother monk,
To leave her babies with others to bunk
Or pass them on one to another
Till they scarcely know who is their mother.

And here’s another thing a monkey won’t do
Go out at night and get in a stew
Or use a gun or a club or a knife
To take some other monkey’s life.

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss
But brother, he didn’t descend from us.

Author unknown

Got this poem in an email....it was highly amusing and oh so true!;0) AND, I love monkeys....so yeah....

Reindeer at the Bubbler

2009-08-20T12:13:00.006-05:00

This, my dear friends, is a reindeer....also known as a caribou in the wilds of North America, but for the sake of this post, it's a reindeer. Living proof that I live in the North Pole. What is he doing? He's drinking from a bubbler. For those of you who don't know what a bubbler is....it is also known by the general population of the world as a drinking fountain. However, where I grew up, if you called it a drinking fountain the natives would look at you like you were a total dunce, grunt, and say "it's a bubbler." They're not big on change or using language beyond that of a 2nd grade education. They just recently figured out indoor plumbing. So, having cleared all that up....here is a reindeer drinking from a bubbler. I'm pretty sure this one's Donner. I caught this kodak moment out my bedroom window over looking Santa's back yard....ok, fine, I took it at the zoo, but still....a reindeer drinking out of a bubbler is pretty good proof that I am located somewhere in the arctic circle. And by the subzero temps we had last night, I'm pretty sure winter is coming....*

*Ok, so it might have been somewhere around the high 60s, low 70s....but cold enuf for me to want a jacket.....or a sweatshirt, ear muffs and mittens.

Nothing new....

2009-08-19T11:32:00.003-05:00

It's Wed and I'm too tired to be creative....my brain cells are actually asleep so all is quiet on the home front. Which is fine, because as you already know....the constant yelling back and forth and the lack of cooperation really wear me out. So, just for the sake of something to post...I included one of my favorite giraffe pics from this weekend's trip to the zoo. Ever heard of "window-lickers?" Well, apparently in the giraffe-hood they have "tree-lickers." And I caught it all on camera. Great blackmail photos if I were into blackmail and ever had a reason to blackmail a giraffe.....

2009-08-18T06:00:00.002-05:00

Is this not the most gorgeous creature you have ever seen? I thought so, too. He lives at the the Milwaukee zoo, and I got to see him this past weekend. I didn't realize until the moment I took his picture how much I love leopards...it really was a love at first sight kind of thing. So the next time one of those passitontoeveryoneinyouremaillist surveys comes around and it asks "do you believe in love at first sight?" you can say "YES, YES I DO!" because I just told you it can happen. Anyway, after telling a friend of mine about this gorgeous feline, I offhandedly made the comment that I want one....know what she did? Yup, you guessed it...rained right on my bubble and told me leopards bite. So, after I got done crying for days and days, I came to the conclusion that in my pretend world anything can happen....so, in my pretend world, this is my pet leopard and he is on loan to the zoo for the viewing pleasure of other appreciative human beings. And for the sake of zoo policy and procedure and the safety of the general public, I'm not allowed to pet him until he comes back home. Isn't he pretty?:D

Comfort-style Casino

2009-08-17T06:00:00.001-05:00

I got an email in my spam folder(I ck in case there's something legit in there...or amusing) the other day and the subject line was "Feel Comfortable Gambling with Namewithheldforsecurityreasons Casino!" And I was like....yeah, um, or not....feeling comfortable gambling in ANY casino just doesn't sound like something I want to make a habit of. No offense to any Gamblers Anonymous folks out there reading this, but if I were to get to the "comfortable" point, I think it's time for some rehab. And a second mortgage on the house.... Unless of course, by "comfortable" they mean sitdownwithyourfeetupinaprivateroomonacushypillowwhileservantswaitonyou-type comfortable....but then, couldn't we just do that at my house? I don't want to have to drive all the way to the casino for comfort.
Not to mention the fact that when you DO happen to win big(which is like 1 in 80 billion or something) they hand you a check the size of a standard storm door....try to be inconspicuous with that. I can just see people lurking in the parking ramp waiting to knife you and disappear into the darkness with an 8 foot piece of cardstock. I should write a novel or maybe a self-help book for gamblers.....I would call it "The Cutting Edge of Gambling Rehabilitation" and there would be a picture of a steak knife on the front....wait, that wasn't nice....point is, you don't really want that check....or at least, not one that big that everyone on earth knows you have that check. Moral of the story.....do not get comfortable at the casino....no matter how many emails they send to your spam folder.

Immaturity Becomes Me

2009-08-15T06:00:00.001-05:00

In a conversation the other day I made the light-hearted statement that something was "really immature." Then I got to thinking that, really, my entire blog is based on immaturity to some degree...and I proceeded to laugh my silly, oval-shaped head off! I did manage to get it glued back on(albeit slightly crooked) in case you were wondering....and started to think about my immaturity levels. There are several. First off, some of you may know that my childhood didn't begin until I was somewhere around the age of 35(ok, fine....I'm only 27 now...point is, I have ALOT of childhood to get thru yet...) But, really, I'm not childish so to speak, I just find humor in the simple things(my mind being the main one...of the simple things that is)...and some of the complex things just to even it all out. I guess that would make me Humorifically Mature. So I'm not immature after all....YAY! Then I don't even have to finish about the several levels of immaturity.....this is awesome!!!!!!!!!!! What a time saver! I didn't waste mine or yours! I need a balloon or a cookie or something.....

Redundant Naming Issue

2009-08-14T06:00:00.002-05:00

Good Morning, donkamadoobers! How are you today, donkamadoobers? Hope your day is going well, donkamadoobers, because, well, donkamadoobers, my day is absolutely splendid! Not much going on here, donkamadoobers, but I'm amusing myself nonetheless. It's Friday, donkamadoobers, so I'm sure you're excited about that, right, donkamadoobers? Peace out, donkamadoobers, I'm off to annoy someone else for the rest of the weekend!

Ever talk to someone like that? The incessant name repetition really gets on my nerves....I'm going to keep crayons in my pocket so I have some available the next time I need to shove them up someone's nose. Yes, I have a strange way of dealing with things, but well, donkamadoobers, that's just the way I toss my cookies....;D

Amos, this one's for you!:0)

2009-08-13T06:00:00.006-05:00

Happy Birthday to my very bestest friend today...who's also my sister, except I don't really have a sister but I adopted her only not legally and today's her birthday and she's my friend and my sister but not really my sister cuz we don't share the same mom except I adopted her mom, too, and her dad only not legally so we're not really sisters but we are and we're best friends and today's her birthday. How's that for a run-on, tourette(I looked up the correct spelling fyi)-inspired sentence?:D HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMOS! Love ya like a sister.....you're the bestest friend a girl like me could have...who else would put up with my insanity-filled moronocystic fibrohilariosis?:D I love u, girl and hope ur birthday is the best one yet!:0)

See, only the most specialist of the special people get a blog post dedicated just for them....:D

Bandwagon Humdrum

2009-08-12T06:00:00.001-05:00

Ever hear the expression about jumping on the bandwagon? Yeah, me too...and I have no idea where it originates or how it got started, but I decided that if I were on a bandwagon, I'd want to play the kazoo. That's all....have a splendidly perfect day.:0)

Summer in the Arctic

2009-08-11T06:00:00.003-05:00

WARNING: This post may contain small(big-smallish....)amounts of sarcasm and some slight(hmmm...biggish-slight) amounts of exaggeration. Proceed with extreme caution!

For those of you reading who don't know me....I live in the North Pole...it's somewhere in the arctic circle right down the road from Santa. At least I think that guy is Santa....hard to tell...I think he musta shaved....and he looks MUCH better in the red get-up than the cut-offs and no shirt....eeeesh. Anyway, we have winter approx 11 months out of the year and road construction for the remaining 51 weeks weeks and 7 days. We just had our 2 days of summer this past weekend and should be expecting to see snow again sometime in the next few weeks.....time to break out the parkas and snowshoes! Life here is really quite grand. We eskimos have lots of fun things we do with our time, including having fun with the "leftovers" from our morning hunts. There's nothing like a game of "hot potato" with a whale bladder or jumping rope with seal intestines to get the old heart rate up enough to keep us from freezing to death. We get our healthy, robust glow from breaking holes in the ice and fishing for anything dumb enough to live in these arctic waters. Ahhhh....this is the good life.
At the current moment we are actually enjoying some above-zero temps so we can do other things, such as going outside without fear of frostbite and boating and swimming before the lake freezes again. Not to mention the pleasure of driving through the never-ending lanes of orange barrels so charmingly adorning our streets and highways. I'm pretty sure that they(whoever they are again...) plan it so that every single road on earth is under construction at exactly the same time. I think they enjoy watching us fumble for a way around the detours and barracades....all the while laughing hysterically to themselves for having messed up yet another way for us to get from point A to point B without having to drive all the way around C, D, E & F. Either that or they ran out of places to store orange barrels since most of the so called "road construction" sites I've seen recently have NOBODY working there....just alot of orange. Anyway, I won't keep rambling....the kids and I are going to dig a few whale bladders out of the ground to thaw for a water balloon fight...hope y'all have a great day!:0)

Temporary Brain Delay

2009-08-10T06:00:00.003-05:00

My brain is currently under destruction due to a family of ring-tailed lemurs** that has decided to take up residence in my nasal cavity. *They're working on a highrise in my sinuses, therefore delaying my brain's functional lack of capabilities. I apologize for the inconvenience. Please contact Hue Mormee in Customer Relations for further information. Thanks, and have a wonderful day.

**NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG POST**

*In other words, I have a cold and can't think.....so this is all I have for today.

Snooze Button Fanatic

2009-08-08T06:00:00.005-05:00

I love my snooze button...pure and simple. Some people set their alarm for when they should be getting up and then remove 9 minutes from their morning routine so they can push the snooze button once....I, on the other hand, purposely set my alarm BEFORE i have to get up so i can push the snooze 3 times before dragging my sorry carcass out of bed....really, that last 27 minutes of interrupted sleep is amazing! Who doesn't love just getting all snuggled back in and barely asleep just in time to turn over and hit the snooze again? All of the logical people I know say "why not just set it for the time you have to get up and then just get up the first time?" or "set your alarm clock on the other side of the room...." Uh-huh, or not. First option tells me...I'm gonna be cutting 9 minutes out of my morning routine because I WILL push the button, and setting my alarm across the room just wouldn't work. Then I would have to actually get up, get cold, walk across the room, push the button and go crawl back in bed for the remainder of the snooze allowance. I fail to see the logic there. So, I'm going to start my own club. SnoozersRUs. Anyone can join as long as they're an avid snoozer and they don't plan on forsaking the Way of the Button. It would be a bring-your-alarm-to-class-so-we-can-talk-about-it type group...only we would be sleeping instead and our alarms would all be ringing at different times. We would practice the most efficient, non-interrupting methods of getting the most out of the snooze button. It would be highly inspiring. I think(correct me if I'm wrong and you want me to shove crayons up your nose) that it's mostly morning people that are the ones who can pop out of bed all chipper and ready to face the day. A morning person I am not...and therefore I love my snooze button....because he tells me I can sleep just a few minutes longer....

Misfire

2009-08-07T06:00:00.002-05:00

My brain has some serious issues....I'm sure you would have never come up with that on your own from reading any of my posts, so I thought I would enlighten you with that tidbit. Today's issue is the lack of communication between the remaining two brain cells living on opposite polar regions in my cerebral cortex. And I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounded good, didn't it?;0) I don't even know if a cerebral cortex is located in your head to tell the truth but I don't have the energy to google it and take away from my creativity. Anyway, see what I mean? They fail to communicate and then I get all distracted and of on some random tangent. I swear, you'd think they were male! No offense to any of you males out there who's wives/girlfriends might force you to read this....but you really do have communication issues. See that? How I'm getting it out there so we can discuss it like the adults that we are? Back to my brain....and the two remaining cells. I think *Verizon is their cell phone provider. They're constantly losing service and all that's going on in my head is "can you hear me now?" You would be insane, too, if you had to listen to that all day. My first thought? "WHY DON'T YOU TWO GO SEE EACH OTHER IN PERSON SO THE SHOUTING STOPS AND YOU CAN HAVE A DECENT CONVERSATION WITHOUT MAKING MY LIFE A RANDOM PILE OF CHICKEN!" And they're at it again. I'm thinking there's no hope....unless they learn to communicate on a more rational adult level, this is all you will get...day after day after communicable disease. Wait...what? Never mind......

*I actually do use Verizon....and for the most part it works....for the most part....unless you're anywhere not directly under or within 30 feet of a cell tower.;0)

P.S. I got an email yesterday from some person I don't even know and the subject line was "Medications you need." I wonder if this guy reads my blog?;0)

Poodle-icious

2009-08-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm really hung up on the letsmixeverythingwithapoodle thing in the dog world, because well, every poodle I've ever met is extremely annoying. And by annoying I mean non-stop barking, super hyper, yipping, jumping, running until you want to sendittothemoonontheendofyourfoot. No offense to anyone who has a poodle that is not annoying.....and in that case, I would love to meet your dog just so I can have a fond memory of one. The odd thing is, I'm not really even a dog fan so why should I care....I mean, I like dogs.....as long as they follow these rules: 1. NO licking, 2. No sniffing where you don't belong, 3. No barking unless it's an emergency, 4. No getting wet...there's not a whole lot worse than wet dog smell....ewwww, 5. No begging, and last but not least 6. NO chewing up my stuff. So, that being said, I love cats...I have always been a cat fan and will always be a cat fan. However, this post is about poodles or rather what we can mix with poodles. I've come up with a list of my own that I would do if I were a poodle owner....because you can make lots of money mixing things with poodles. Apparently THAT kind of mixing is not classified in the "mutt" section....but that's a whole other topic that we're going to avoid....I have a fear of drowning and I just know some of these avid dog lovers would rig the next bridge I would have to cross were I to step on the wrong toes.

My list:(it's in mathematical equations, so if u have trouble with math like i do, feel free to ask questions in the comment section and i will do my best to spell it out for u....)

Poodle + Camel = Poodacam
Poodle + Monkey = Monkey-Poo(which is SO fitting.....)
Poodle + Grizzly Bear = Snack(hmmm...this also gets me wondering if maybe there's a certain bear stuffed with fluff that has poodle bloodlines somewhere in his history.....if so, it's no wonder Walt Disney made millions.....)

Poodle + Bee = Yipe!rdoodle
Poodle + Chihuahua = Tacodoodle
Poodle + Poodle = wait, would we just stick with Poodle on this or could we make more money if we called it a Poodoodle? Or how about a Poodapoo?

Poodle + Parakeet = Poodakeet
Poodle + Owl = Poot....oops, excuse me, I mean Poodowl:D
Poodle + Elephant = Elephoodle or Poodephant....can you imagine how fun it would be to see an elephant with tight curly hair and a poodle cut? Hey, at least it wouldn't shed!

Anyway, I'm done now....and I promise not to bring it up again....ok, I might, but not tomorrow anyway....:0) If I had poodle in my bloodlines you could totally call me a Dorky-poo. Have a great day all you Donkamadoober-Poos!:D

Here are a few more a friend helped me come up with when having this discussion:

Poodle + Panda = Pooda
Poodle + Lion = Pion
Poodle + Crocodile = Croc-a-poo
Poodle + Tyrannasaurus = Tyrannadoodle
Poodle + Shar-pei = a curly haired oinker
Poodle + Sloth = Lazydoodle
Poodle + Ford = Found On Road Doodle
Poodle + Frog = Croak-a-Poo or Froodle
Poodle + Cow = Moodle
Poodle + Horse = Whinny the Poo...wait, didn't we mention him earlier?

:0) that's all folks! we're off to make our millions....;0)

Oil and Water

2009-08-05T23:20:00.000-05:00

Ever learn a really simple yet profound lesson from something as mundane as baking brownies? Yeah, I usually don't either....more than likely because I avoid the kitchen if I can. Just so happened I was baking brownies the other day(I know...shocker...but ppl were coming over...) and I had this extremely enlightening revelation. Ya know how people always say "oil and water don't mix?" Well, I bet the person that invented brownies called the guy that came up with such negativity and said "in your FACE, bruno!" Why, you say? Well, here's the thing....oil and water really do mix....all you need to do is add 2 eggs and a brownie mix. Quite simple, really. I just followed the directions on the box and voila! 28 minutes later I had chocolate peanut butter bliss!(It was a Reeses Brownie Mix, in case you were wondering.) So, I figure the next time someone comes to me with relationship issues(because I have ppl just lining up at the door) and they make the comment "we're like oil and water...we just don't mix." I'll say "Sure you do! Just add 2 eggs and a brownie mix." I'm sure they will be filled with all sorts of warm fuzzy feelings and all their relationship struggles will be over.(P.S. If I turn up missing, please call the police....it could have been something I said....)

Textual Drivers

2009-08-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

Yup...this post is for ppl who drive while texting...or maybe it's text while driving...hard to tell.....but in case anybody got all confused by the title of this post, I am not talking about people wearing signs while driving. Just to clarify.
We've all seen these people on the interstate....driving 7 miles UNDER the speed limit and weaving out of their designated lane. First thought? Drunk. Nope....they're just texting. Apparently whatever is happening in their little world of myboyfriend/girlfrienddumpedmeformybestfriend is SO important that it can't wait until they're not endangering the lives of the hundreds of other people driving the highway at that given time. So in honor of their highly intellectual existence, I've composed a little note that I would hand over to the next person I see texting while they're driving, except that it would distract them from their texting and the person waiting for their message might think they're mad at them. I would hate to be the cause of something so heartbreaking.

To Whomeverfindsitnecessarytotextwhiledriving,
I apologize for the inconvenience of this message, as I understand that the three hours it will take you to sound out all the words of this letter is taking valuable time away from your abbreviated text messages. However, I do have something to bring to your attention. YOU ARE DRIVING. I'm not sure if you were aware of that. It was really hard to tell if your eyelids had holes or if you were, indeed, typing the latest text message about whatever earthshattering life event couldn't be dealt with in another 15 min when you were safely off the highway and parked. Now, before you get all hurt and offended and text all your friends about this mean person that wrote you this letter, I am not against texting. I just think there's a better time for it than while you're driving and putting the rest of our lives at risk. I know you are above all this and that could never happen to you, but for the sake of the other morons out there, please save your texting for off-road terrain only. Thanks, and have a wonderful day.

Now, I'm pretty sure that 90% of the ppl I see texting while driving have never had more than a broken fingernail or at the very most been dumped by a guy or girl they were over in a week. So yeah, it can wait. It would really be tempting to put signs in my window tho.....I would have to abbreviate and avoid using vowels or they would have no idea what I meant.

Driving and talking on the phone simultaneously is another issue....one that I'm not worried about as much as long as: A-you're paying more attn to your driving than the conversation at hand; B-you're at least doing the speed limit; and C-you're staying in your own lane. Some ppl have issues with these three requirements but for those who don't...feel free to talk on your phone while driving.....;0)

Rendition of Goodnight Moon

2009-08-04T23:00:00.003-05:00

This post includes a very poor, yet hilarious(to me anyway) one line renditon of what I can remember and make up along the way of the childrens' book called Goodnight Moon. It's a classic favorite I guess...one that I was too underprivileged as a child to ever own but now have for my children, compliments of the hospital they were born in.
Rather than quote the whole book or make it up or whatever...the brief synopsis is that it starts out by pointing out all the things in this room and then says goodnight to them, so I'll just spare you and skip to the part that had me in fits of laughter....which, by the way, my husband did not find quite as hilarious as I did, but it still makes me laugh to think about it! So there's a part that says "goodnight (somethingidontrememberwhat) and bowl full of mush...and little old lady whispering hush"....well, i was cracking up cuz "little old ladies sitting in mush" sounded so much funnier. But you have to know the book to appreciate that....and have a very warped sense of humor....k, time for bed!;0) Goodnight, moon!:D

Circus Mayhem

2009-08-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

Ok, I had to double helmet for this post because it's coming at me so fast and random that I can't keep up....it will probably make absolutely no sense but I am sitting here right now laughing my butt of...ha, if only it were that easy! Anyway, I started off thinking about cooking....because I have this lovely friend who bought me this lovely magnet that says "I'm such a lousy cook I can't even boil toast." I know, some friend, right? I bet she doesn't know we have a toaster so it saves me the trouble of boiling it to begin with.;0) You would almost think she knew me really well because this magnet is SO fitting for me....I am very much non-domesticatable. Seriously, I'm like one of those *Sigmund and Froid magic show tigers that just decides to bite it's owner one day because hey guess what? you shouldn't have been trying to domesticate me in the first place! Except I would never have bit that guy....ewwww........bet that hurt. Really, tho, I don't bite...it's not my thing. Moral of the story? Do not try to turn a tiger into a domestic cook because it will bite you whether you think you're magic or not.:0)

Other fun magnets I have related to cooking and housework:

"I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning....just not as it applies to me."
"I only have a kitchen because it came with the house."
"I finished your laundry....the ashes are in the fireplace.:

And one related to exercise:

"I gave up jogging because my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire."

*I think it's actually Sigfried and Roy or something like that, but I like my version better....and I did read the actual arcticle and as it turns out the poor tiger either got his junk shut in a trap door before the show or some big-haired lady in the audience freaked him out so they think maybe that's why he bit...either way, I still don't like to cook.:0)

Author's Clarification

2009-08-03T14:29:00.004-05:00

Ok, I already know there are some of you thinking "she said she was never gonna do a blog...." so this post is for you...yes, you.....don't you look away from me like you have no idea what I'm talking about!;0) Anyway, yes, I did say that....several times, actually....because well, here's the honest to goodness Idontwanttohavethesamethingaseverybodyelse truth. I did not want to do a blog about my kids, because as cute and lovable as they are, I would have had to make it private for fear of lurking looneys and well, if you're my friend on fb you get to see their adorable faces there....and even better, if you're part of my update list for emails, you get to hear all about their latest accomplishments, new teeth, growth charts, bowel movements and so on. SO, no blogging about my kids. Then there was this thing about how boring and dull my everyday existence is(being a comic genius does have its downfalls....haha....) Like, I'm sure y'all would just love to know that I got up and took a shower today....right? Exactly....not interesting in the least...and actually 90% of everything else I do/think/say falls in the "youcouldcarelessifiateicecreamforbreakfast" category....so, I decided instead to keep track of the stuff I find funny, so that on days when things aren't so funny, I can go back and remember to laugh. Basically what I'm saying is, this blog is for me to write stuff down so I don't forget and you to read it if you so choose....capeesh?(great spelling, i know.....);0) That's all....carry on.:0)
**foot note: This does not mean I do not enjoy reading everyone else's blog and seeing pictures....so let's clarify the clarification.....no feelings hurt or people crying....I can't handle crying.....just laughing....:0)

Reprimand By Exhaustion

2009-08-03T08:30:00.002-05:00

Hi. Yup, it's me....Exhaustion. And I've come to visit you today. My goal? To make it virtually impossible for you to function on a somewhat normal(pfffft...) level. Yes, I came to make you fight for every last waking ounce of energy you think you can muster up. Uh huh....go ahead and try it! I've seen it all...caffeine, Red Bull, energy pills, vitamins(c'mon, seriously?), ginseng, orange juice.....ya know, all the weapons of mass destruction people try to use to eliminate or at least hinder my brilliant work. I'm resilient, though....just so you know. I refuse to give up easily....it's in my blood. My great-grandmother was a Coma, and she had some serious knock-out moves. Oh yeah, and all that under-eye baggage you're carrying around? Those are mine....I store my Heavy-Eyelid Serum and Yawnation Dust in one and my Leadzonium Limb Oil in the other.(Don't even try the under-eye cream with me...it WILL.NOT.WORK.) I do my best to make you so tired you don't even know you have drool running down your chin until it drips on your pants.....it's a code of honor really.(But you might want to wipe that off before anybody else notices....it's kind of gross.) You can blame whoever you want to for my visit....the kids for waking you up in the middle of the night....onions for giving you gas pains....my friend Insomnia.....whatever....doesn't matter to me. The fact is, you're just too weak to resist my evil charms. Oh yeah, that's right, baby...I said WEAK! So, bring it on....I'm all ready for you! My Sleep-Missile Launcher is locked and loaded...........;0)

Definitions

2009-08-02T12:55:00.003-05:00

Before I go any further it might be good to define the title of my blog....I mean, not everybody knows what a thingamadoober is, and whatnot might be self explanitory, but we'll define it anyway.:0)

Thingamadoober: (n) what you call something you can't remember the proper or official name for (you can call it a thingamapoodle if it makes you feel better):)

Whatnot: (n) all the extra randomocities not included in the definition of thingamadoober

Don't know what randomocities are? Look it up...I'm pretty sure it's a real word....ok, maybe not, but if you read long enough it should define itself!;0)

Honkey vs Mule

2009-08-02T01:11:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder why a mix between a donkey and a horse is called a mule? Yeah, me too....makes absolutely no sense not to mention it's dull and boring. Just think of how much cooler it would be if they(whoever they are...) came up with a name like they do for dogs....poodle+golden retriever=golden doodle, poodle + cocker spaniel=cockapoo, poodle + siamese= a dead dog...and what's with everything being mixed with a poodle? C'mon ppl, get more creative than that! Anyway, I think it would be totally cool....and absolutely hilarious if a donkey + horse=honkey! Say it out loud....honkey, honkey, honkey.....:D AND, if they wanted to get really creative....donkey + poodle=donkadoodle....ok, I am amusing myself a little too much...g'nite!:0)

Let the Blogging Begin!

2009-08-02T00:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here I am at last...entering the whimsical world of blogging....I can't promise I will fit in to this society or know all the rules of etiquette, but then again, fitting in is not something I've ever done very easily and etiquette is totally overrated. This blog is dedicated to laughter....there will be no negativity or foul smelling odors....just pure, unadultered, blonde-driven humor.:0) I can't promise, either, that you will think any of this is funny...but to me it is and well, it's my blog. Sit back and enjoy the ride....but hold on tight cuz the tracks are a little shaky!;0)